I painted a picture of my dad as a monster because it was easier to justify the anger I felt through the injustice I experienced as a child; I wasn’t provided the life I deserve, and that has profoundly impacted my perspectives on this world. I’ll admit, I had, and still have, a lot of healing to do as I return to who I really am beyond survival mode.

But I don’t think my dad is this cruel man. I think he, as well as everyone, is, a human being- a hurt, broken human whose seen the ugliest places in this world. He did his best the only way he knew how, and I never gave him the recognition for it. I didn’t get a shitty mother or a shitty father; I received two souls as lost as anyone is in this fucking world. I won't discredit the burdens they also had on their backs as they tried to navigate the complexities that come with being alive. I also won't discount how badly they affected me, either.

My healing is my responsibility and at some point, I just simply got exhausted by looking at the same views in my comfort zone. there comes a time where I yearned for more, so I began to search for more. I refused to become a victim of circumstance who succame to the brutality of things that were never in my control in the first place.